Just kids

"Teacher picture!"
...
"Teacher no good! again again!"

Wish Upon A Falling Star...

I had my kids make some wishes on paper stars...they're so cute! They really love their singers here~~

I agree....

Today during lunch one of our students come over and whisper something to my co-teacher:

Me: (after she leaves) What did she say?
Co-teacher: (pauses) Um.. I do not agree, but she thinks you are pretty.
(laughter ensues)
Me: (dies a little inside) But I am!
Co-teacher: ...

Natural beauty?

While doing a dialogue...

Korean teacher: What do you put on your body?
Students: Hat-uh! Shirt-suh! Short-suh! Shoulder-pad-uh!
Korean teacher: You can also put on makeup! You! Ask Isabelle teacher if she wears makeup.
Student: Do you wear makeup teacher?
Me: Not everyday.
Korean teacher: *translates* Ask Isabelle teacher if she is wearing makeup today.
Student: Are you wear makeup today?
Me: Only a little bit.
Students: *whispers in korean* ohhhh can't see any makeup. natural....natural...

My Name Is...Gay?!

I let my students make their own English names during an extra class and one student proceeded to name himself Gay...that's right...his English name is now Gay.

I showed them a website which explains what names mean and his friends thought it'd be funny to check the word gay. And of course...it said Gay = Happy. They all crack up and the student looks at me..."Teacher...Gay really happy?" I explain that the word gay does mean happy and that if you check in the dictionary that will come up even though now the word has more than one meaning.

"Okay...my name Gay! Happy!"

I didn't really expect him to still name himself that. -__-;; He's still my cute student and my English captain haha!

One and one = 'oh noooo!'

On Monday, the Smoking guard I spoke of earlier told me:

"Teacher, Friday, Saturday, Sunday I drink-uh soju!"
"Why?"
"Birthhhday! oh yeahh!"
"oh..."
"Yeaaaa! Sunday...my head-uh ohhh noooo"
"Soju...and?...what?"
"One samgyupsal [mimics wrapping a piece and popping it in his mouth].......then!....one soju! ohhhh noooo!"
"One and one?"
"Yeah! One...and one...is-uh ohhh noooo!"

Where is the highway, tonight?

I'm not sure what happened, maybe its the changing of the seasons, but the last two weeks at my school have taken the usual insanity there to new heights.

First, last Friday there was a fight in the hallway outside my office. I got to see what a human being looks like after having their body thrown through a door (made of some heavy metal, which was torn from the hinges), then their head thrown through two panes of glass and nearly out the 3rd story window. There was enough blood that students slipped and fell in the hallway...gross

Then this monday a teacher I know informs me that some people hurt her with gossip at school so she went ahead and got the plastic surgery done [obviously in an effort to feel better]...I guess more is scheduled.

And one co-teacher of mine is now in some kind of battle of wills against the Principal, complete with yelling matches...that can't be good. Everyone in my office sulks as a result...

Then this week I decided to go back to the ever popular topic of "Shopping" with my new first grade students. Even with such an innocent topic as that, I managed to hear the following line four times this week:
B: "Shopping! Do you like shopping?"
A: "Yesss-uh!!"
B: "what do you like to buy?"
A: "........GIRL! I buy GIRL!!"...

and the ever popular response of
A: "ohhh! condom!!!!"

and last but not least...today...

B: "Yaa, hey, you....be quiet please!"
A: "ooookay teacher..."
B: "Thank you... [I turn to write something on the board]"
A: "........mother f%@!$r...."
B: "Whaaaat?!"
[silence in the class...]
A: ".............nobody but you?"

Sweetness~~

So I've been sick for awhile and took a few days off this week....

I returned today to find letters from my favorite class!! I thought I'd share some with you, their English isn't the greatest but they're my most enthusiastic bunch of kids and I LOVE having class with them.

-----

Hi 츄 Evelyn Fidther (can't read this word...)
Hi tether my namy is kang ji chang
you sick I hungry
bed cold a long time 낳들라
english is hard But
I win you korea langiere

-----

Hi 에블린 choo
I'm fine thank you
You get well fast sickness cold
My name is Cho jur jung flower hansom boy
haijin
you know me
um bye~~

I do know this boy haha...he's so funny.
-----

Hi Evelyn! I'm so good boy
I'm friendly type
My name is ____ (he wrote it so small I can't read it)
Your class is so fun
But another class is so boring
Please come ㅠㅠ
Please
If you don't come back I sleep for the class.
Come back!

-----

Hi Evelyn. I'm Kim Sang Hyun
I am so sorry about sick of you. I hope you get up early on your bed. I mean that I just hope you're fixed fastly (get well).

um...yeah. There's a song which is sung by cold play.
that song is "fix you"
I want to sing that song to you. But I'm lack of talent to sing so, just listen on the internet.

English class is so boring so I want you to come back

-----

So these were the funny ones...I have a lot ~~ they're so sweet! I love them! They're so going on my wall haha

The joys of teaching teenage boys

B: Me
A: Crazy student from the Interior Design department

A: "Hey teacher, how old are you? single?"
B: "28...single..."
A: "Oh...my mother single, introduce?"
[class erupts in laughter]
B: "haha [face turns red]. ummm...no thank you"
A: "Hey, teacher, you...spoon on woman!"
B: "What??"
A: "You spoon!"
B: "I don't understand..."

Got dreams?

Last week was focused on asking my students what their life dream was.
The following are the most unique life dreams among my students.
"casa nova!"

"Princess-uh!"

'pro-gamer!"

"Love teacher!"

"pro-killer!"

"exorcist!"

"Philanthropist" (the act of donating money, goods, services, time and/or effort to support a socially beneficial cause)

throw-up day

The english teacher was showing the kids a funny way to memorize the days of the week.

In Korean:
Teacher: Thursday is when you want to si ruh (cut) the meat
Friday is when you FRY an egg to go with you meat.
Now I've eaten too much meat! What do I do on Saturday?

Student (shouting): YOU THROW UP! (In korean, the first part of saturday also means to throw up)

The correct answer: Salad day (saturday) - to go with all your meat..

I also needed some dice so I went to another class to ask the teacher.

Teacher (In korean): You need something?
Me (In english): Dice? You have dice?
Class (laughing): HAHA Teacher doesn't understand english-ee!!!
Teacher: (In korean) Here! Draw it on the board!
After I draw...
Teacher: Ahhh! Dice! (Turns to the class) See guys, she was asking for dice!
Class: Awww you didn't know it either teacher!

What does your school buy?

My school has a decent budget and there's a sum of money allocated to English education. Unfortunately...sometimes the money is not spent on useful things. Last semester there were some companies that came to present their educational software to the English teachers. I was not really allowed to partake in any of them, except for one.

We bought that one.

Even though after that meeting I had criticized their program, which included chatting functions, English songs, fairy tales and some other things. The most expensive component was an internet browser which translates the page into Korean or English. I thought that was dumb because well....translating internet pages is a free function of Google's search engine...why should we pay for that?

So now we're forced to use the program IN class because we paid so much for it. Each storybook has a "native" English speaker's voice-over so the class can practice listening. Unfortunately, the person's English speaking skills are bad and I can't hear the difference between the R and the L. Some words aren't even pronounced correctly. Even the written versions have grammatical errors...

Brilliant...leave the English material decisions to everyone BUT the native English teacher -__-;;

Would you like to read 'Love and Freindship'?

Teach-uh~

From yesterday, when imitating our students' accent:

"Teach-uh, pleez-uh!"
"Teach-uh, candy!"
"Teach-uh, one more time!"
"... It's starting to sound dirty..."

Technical difficulties PART-UH three

I guess I have put off writing this post for some time. It concerns one of my more unique students.

It strikes me with no small amount of irony that he is one of the few students that tries to speak in English with me, while at the same time is very hard to control in class, funny, but somewhat violent at times and getting into a lot of fights at school.

The first time we spoke he said:
A: "Teachaa...you....wife-uh?"
B: "oh, no....no wife"
A: "Girlfriend?"
B: "No....."
A: "Oh nooooo! Teachaa...you...should have-uh....Korea wife-uh....and Canada wife-uh....and Korea girlfiend! same-same!"
B: "whaaaat?"
A: " Oooo kay! high five! yeaaa!"
B: "Are you crazy?" [class laughs]
A: "Yeaaa me crazy!!! whooooo"[grabs worksheet and tears it in half!]

Then today the co-teacher left me alone with them, and he started getting out of hand. Walking around and trying to hit students in the forehead with a giant ruler. So I struck up a conversation concerning our weekly topic of "what is your dream?" to try and slow him down.

B: "Hey...sit down!...ok...what is your dream?"
A: "Ohhh, I love-uh driving! yeaaa!"
B: "and?"
A: "cool drive! [acts out driving with one hand on steering wheel]......and-uh smooooking! [ takes out a cigarette and pretends to smoke with one hand on the wheel]"
B: "Ohhh....day-time dream? driving and smoking?"
A: "....Yes-uh!"
B: "and Night-time dream?"
A: "Smoking girl date-uh!"

The real funny thing is that, not an hour ago, I reported his antics with the ruler to the co-teacher and asked about his life at school. My co-teacher's response was

A: "Oh yeah, he has many problems. But it is OK, he is a school leader. His job is to keep the students from smoking at break time....."
B: "Whaaat? He just told me today that he smokes!"
A: "....Really?......oh..."

The Point of No Return

Okay...I named this blog after a song from 'Phantom of the Opera'...

Anyways...I read a lot about how the 6-month mark is really when things start going downhill while teaching in a foreign country. Apparently there's a high point and a low point...I've officially finished 6 months here and I still love it. I'm really glad for that. I seem to be learning a lot about teaching and I'm actually improving (at least I think I am)!

I taught some awesome classes today and the kids actually participated so I'm really glad.

That's all I have to say ~~ ^^

Teachaaa! Favorite food-uh?!

Today I met my new 1st graders in the Construction department, usually the lowest level students in my school (which is saying something...). They are not, however, lacking in terms of their ability to entertain and, well, shock me....like during the following class where I introduced myself for the first time.
A = Students
B= Me
C= Co-teacher

A: "Helllooo!"
B: "Hello everyone! Let's play a guessing game, about me [co-teacher helps teach the meaning of 'guess']" .....
A: "...Teachaaa! Favorite food-uh?"
B: "Please guess!"
A: "Dak galbi?"
B: "no...haha"
A: "Kimchi?"
B: "no...sorry!"
A: "Korea girl!"
[class erupts in laughter]
B: "Umm........"
C: "Yes, I have always wondered what kind of Korean girl you like? Can you please tell the class? :) "
B: "Um...."
C: "What about boy?"
B: "Um..no.....pass pass!"

Anybody want to be a guest teacher at my school? haha

Give Me Your Food!

Do your students try to feed you? I ran into one of my students in a nearby building the other day...he was holding a bag from Dunkin Donuts and once he greeted me, he rushed to open the bag and held it open in my face. I thought it was funny so I just laughed and told him to eat it himself but these kind of situations happen quite often.

- My students are outside the school eating 떡볶이 (spicy rice cakes) and they attempt to feed me some.
- Outside the supermarket they see me and proceed to give me a box of crackers that they just bought.
- They'll be drinking a cup of something and when they see me they'll shove it in my face to let me take a sip...

I have let students feed me before just because they're so adamant...I don't really care too much but it's kind of startling when food is suddenly five centimeters from your face.

I think it's adorable...except when they seem kind of scared. The reactions I get when they see me outside of school make me feel like a school bully. They look nervous and then try to give me whatever they're holding haha....I'm not going to mug you!

Lost in mistranslation?

We have all seen the funny ways in which Konglish words adapt various English meanings. But sometimes real attempts to translate leave me speechless, and unable to grasp how exactly their dictionaries gave such a meaning:

A= Teacher
B= Me

A: "Michael...when I make mistake, spill water, or food, or fall down, how to say in English?"
B: "Oh, well, you could say you are a little 'clumsy'."
A: "Oh really? Let me check clumsy in my dictionary.........whaaaaaaat? Hey...thats not my meaning.."
B: "What did your dictionary say? Can you translate for me?"
A: "[Blushing] It says "when a couple is on a bus or public place and kisses or touching too much....."
B: "Ummm....that's not the meaning of 'clumsy'."
A: "Sorry, I can't use this word..."
B: "But that's not the meaning, your dictionary is wrong..."
A: "Give me different word, ok?"
B: "Sure...."

Later I went and looked "clumsy" up myself in the dictionary. Apparently someone who wrote that Korean dictionary based it on the archaic 3rd meaning of "clumsy", from Middle English:

"3. said or done without thought or tact: I took the clumsy hint and left [Middle English [1066-1470]; clumse, to benumb"

It makes me wonder sometimes if Koreans would have an easier time picking up English etymology than we would!

I want to be a comic book!!!!

Hello I am Sunny and I am NOT the teacher from Hwaseong... I teach somewhere else... yes..

So yesterday was our new teacher's celebration dinner, and I was trying to socialize with the others in my very limited korean.

Here is the translated version from korean:
Teacher 1: I loved comic books so much that I once skipped school, and rode my bike all the way to the comic book store to take out a bunch of comics.
(laughter ensues)
Me: (trying to say "I want to be a comic book artist") I.... I want to do comic books!
Teacher 1 and Teacher 2: You want to....??????
Me: Um... uh... I want to be comic books?
Teacher 1: You want to BE a comic book???
Teacher 2: You want to be a comic book....

Later on that evening... (in english)
Me (to the english teacher): Are you drunk?
English teacher: (Obviously a little tipsy) No...
Me: ...
English teacher: Okay, maybe I am a litttle~

Obama the NBA Star...

My co-teacher: Do you know the most famous basketball player in the NBA?
Student: OBAMAAA!!

Would you go out with a 38year old?

talkin to a friend who works in an elementary school in Hwaseong...


"today a 3rd grader asked if me and my engliush teacher were going out
n at first i couldnt believe my ears so i thot she meant something else
so i kinda ignored her
which she took as that we were
and later she comes up to me
n asks if i LOVE HIM
and the english teacher said "i have a wife!"
n i took her aside n said "hes too old!"
but she didnt understand me

but honestly sometimes i thnk he is cute
i must be really desperate"

p.s. please note the quotations. this is so my guy neighbors don't think i'm desperate for a date.

In the Friend-zone

It never ceases to amaze me what Koreans will admit to me, and I can only assume it means they find it easier to admit things to foreigners than other Koreans about their personal life at times. Whatever the reason may be, I hear some exceptionally wacky stuff. Well, wacky at least from my western point of view, skewed as it is. And so I will recreate two conversations I had today with a new female Teacher before the details fade from memory. I just hope I can recreate her timely interruptions in conversation......
___________________________________
A = Teacher
B = Me

[Lunchtime]
A:"You know...many Korea woman like...plastic...plastic...um..." [giggling]
B:"Surgery?"
A:"Ah yes, you know! ha ha!" [insert happy woman clapping here]
B:"Yeah...I know...but I don't understand it..."
A:"Because you know, many woman want to do for themselves..."
B:"Right...sure...."

A:"Woman like to new nose, eyes...."

B:"um....ok....and what will you get done? haha"
A:[Blushing] "I will let you guess! haha, just a kidding Mike...I am not yet made a plan..."
B:"ohhhh......um.....Ok......you shouldn't do that you know, you don't need it..."
A:"Thank you Mike!"

[4:00pm]
A:"Oh.....I made a doctor's appointment, so I need leave early..."
B:"Ok, good. But not for plastic surgery right? hahaha!"
A:[Blushing, then hides her face] "Oh.....maaaaaaybe....hehehe"
B:"Oh....ohhh....um.....sorry..."
A:"Be happy for me Mike! They will tell me if can be done or not! hehehe! Hey...I tell you many my secrets, but you don't tell me ...."
B:"Oh.....I have no secrets....that I know of..."
A:"And today the marry agency call me about the man, he want to meet me again.
I think I am ...how do you say? popular? with the men? hehe"
B:"Oh I see, but if you are popular why do you n-"
A:"Anyway, I will need the bank loan ...."
B:"Um..."
A:"But time to go! Give me some lucky! bye!"
________________________________________

Needless to say, this guy has never been happier in the friend-zone.

Technical Difficulties part DEUX

The Gems of my webpage folks, I will let them speak for themselves...

No : 2341 writer : 배장근 read : 34
title : Bae Jang Kun
Bae Jang Kun

My name is Bae Jang Kun.
I love you
I like to Computer Game.
I live in Home.
I think my teacher is Me.
Very Good!!

글에대한 의견입니다 [ COMMENTS]

박주남 2008.11.4
hum.....good..! ha ha ha

gowonho 2008.11.4
↑ dangers

김성민 2008.11.4
Your home in disgrace

김성민 2008.11.4
Your dangers man

gowonho 2008.11.4
your jombi man!

배장근 2008.11.4
Fuck you!!
______________________
Next was our theme for the week, writing about Chuseok....
______________________
No : 2370 writer : 김태원 read : 3
title : chuseok
In chuseok I like to date
I love eat dog
I love you soju
I like to pocket pool
______________________
Let it be known that the boy, after questioning him, made it clear to me that the pocket pool in question was not that which is otherwise known as Billiards....ahem. He even told the co-teacher as much...
______________________
No : 2317 writer : 신영규 read : 2
title : Chuseok
Chuseok is fun and Crazy
I really love Heineken with grandfather
in chuseok i like to take money from father
at chuseok i like to eat Before fresh fish, three color herbs, bracken fern herbs
chuseok is not happy day
______________________
Lastly, let me give you an inside look at my school during break time. The following entry is from one of the bullies of the school, who likes to attack one particular student he calls "Kim pig" and sit on the guy's head in the hallway everyday (a practice now known as "korean culture game!"). The last chase involved breaking a classroom window outside my office. It was the first time I have seen a student dance on broken glass.... After coming back from the hallway and telling my co-teacher,
"They broke a window!...um...what do we do?"
she said...
"I...don't...care."
______________________
No : 2143 writer : 권순옥여사 read : 14
title : My Love Self oil bank number. 1539 'Won' Sarangham

I love self oiL Bank zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
my konglish jun moon zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
you Kim Pig, korean cuture game Ready?! gogosing
YOU DIE
korean culture game!

what should i say....?

I really dont know what to say...but since i was forced to contribute to this blog....i will talk about my first week of teaching...

i have been here for about three months now and i have just started teaching this week...yes...i have been on break for about two months...i taught an english camp during winter break but thats about it...

and my mind is about to explode because they keep switching my schedule. i am so confused about who i am gonna teach...i have to fix my lesson plans at least 5 times already...

So i am great today is friday!!! so i can go out and enjoy a good cup of coffee and yummy waffle with ice cream with my friend!!!

Tiamo is a great place for waffles!

The Sand is a great cafe too!!!!

Wazzzzzzupppppp

Because ***** (her name will be omitted because ... yea), a new teacher in Hwaseong, refuses to blog, I have taken the liberty of stealing our conversation and posting it up here!

"LOL we taught the kids wuts up today
wahhahahahahhaa
they were like... wuts... up?
wuts up?
wut's wuts up?
hahahahhahaa that's what we use all the time to each other
cuz i told my teacher
that close friends dont ask how r u
we say wasssssuuppppp
n my teacher was like
how do you respond to that?
i say, we say nothing
or not much

whooops i just farted
i hope no one notice d
wahahhahahaha"

Relaxed and fresh

As a lot of people know, my office is attached to the English Classroom. I sit by my lonesome with no one to bother me if I blast music or not. Unfortunately, the main office next door. So I wouldn't be able to blast music anyway. But I do have a radio and I like to listen to the English programs in the morning.

This morning, I decided to listen to something else. They have this station where they play traditional Korean music. A very relaxed, smooth kind of music - the kind that has flutes, drums, old singing, that instrument where you pluck the strings...
This isn't so much a funny story, but the technician at my school came in to my office to visit. He commented about the music and said how I was 신선하다. What does that mean? According to the dictionary, I was a "Toaist hermit". Just because I had an office to myself, I was a hermit?? But the second definition was "to be fresh." So I was a fresh Toaist hermit??

The story is, that people go up the mountains to read a book or go with someone up there to play chess. They sit for hours and hours by themselves and listen to this kind of music. It's a very refreshing and relaxing feeling. I learn something new everyday!

Technical Difficulties Part 1

Hi, my name is Mike. I teach at a Technical School in Korea. No, it isn't what you think it is. It's not a school for the technician, engineer, or any number of jobs that require a level of sophistication or know-how. It is where the worst students in the province go after failing middle school. Yes, all the monsters in your middle school classes and the ones you hear about, those are my kids!

That being said, they are all lovable in their own way!

For example, on our School "English Home-pagy" the students were asked (forced, actually) to add content, even if it meant cutting and pasting from Korean cultural web-pages that looked as if they had used Google translator to provide English descriptions of Korean culture and cultural items. They were also asked to do self-introductions. Some kids, however, got a little more creative, such as the following student named “Yim Ddong”.

-------------------------------
1. my name is Yim DDong

2. i live in space

3. i have 63 family members.

4. Now, i'm majoring in fighter

5. i'd like to be a good for naught

6. my hobby is act imprudently

7. my best friend is revit!

---------------------------------

Despite the fact that we had to add content in order to compete with other schools in a nation-wide competition for English Home-pages, the student was nonetheless praised by the teachers for the above entry....lol

The second comedian to grace our page was Kim se jin (also known as Machine (gun) Kim).

---------------------------------
No : 2148 writer : 김기계(여) read : 12
title : my name is machine (gun) Kim

I want nobody nodody but you!!!!

U go girl dededededede ded girl~

Yeah Mc sniper and outsider let's GO

low 에서 low

low 에서 low

low 에서 low

who are you, machine kim?

you are so beautifull!
Machine Gun Kim, who the hell is that?

my name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kimmy name is machine kim

I LOVE KIM se jin !
-----------------------------------------

You will be happy to know, these are two of my best students.......

age difference and awkwardness..

eating alone with one other science teacher, there's no escaping conversation.

her: "what kind of music do you listen?"
me: " umm.. i like .. pop music?"
her: "ohh i like simon and garfunkle. sound of silence."
me: ".... "

Middlesex

Has anyone read the book "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides?
Well, I'm currently reading it. It's a good book.
Anyway, a couple of kids come into my office looking for Spongebob and the book is on my desk. Curious as kids can be, they read the title of the book:

Kid 1: Mid...middle...뭐야? (what?)
Kid 2: 색....스... (se...x..)
Kids together: ㅎㅎ... hu hu..

Discipline~~

I'm horrible at discipline. Maybe it's because I'm new at teaching but I'm probably more scared of the kids than they are scared of me. I can't hold a straight face and constantly laugh at their antics. I see my co-teachers glare at their students and scream at them...and I didn't think I could do it. But I did!

The semester is pretty much over so I played a movie yesterday. I've always had trouble controlling the kids because I can't get them to quiet down and they don't really listen to me. I finally yelled at the kids and it actually worked. Probably because I don't really get serious normally so they thought I was really pissed. I wouldn't have yelled if they didn't start some arm-wrestling tournament right in front me -__-;;

During the movie one of the kids was listening to his MP3 so I went over and told him to put it away or I'd take it away. He didn't understand me and he asked his friend what I was saying. His friend promptly says in Korean, "She says she's going to get her friends to come and beat you up." I almost cracked up but my co-teacher came over and started lecturing them. That was a good save because I really wanted to laugh.

My kids are too funny. I got a look at the yearbook and it was so much better than my middle school yearbook. They even get to write personal messages...many of which are hilarious. I have to post some up on here later.

Anyways ~~ Thanks for reading!

I did a Valentine's lesson today....so Happy Valentine's Day!

why no post-uh?

So maybe, or maybe not, you're wondering why we're not posting...
it's cuz we're on vacation!

Happy New Years everyone!
새해 복 많이받으세요!